The First Step to Compelling Content – Your Core Message
If you want to attract clients to your website, the content needs to be exciting, intriguing, and compelling. It needs to motivate visitors to contact you for coaching.
However, most coaching websites are boring and confusing, as you may have seen. The messaging is weak and doesn’t land with visitors.
To fix that problem, I like crafting a compelling core message before building a website. It’s a short, write-up that says what you do in an exciting way. It’s an elevator pitch but for your website.
These can be tough to come up with, and often evolve over time. I recommend drafting something and then sharing it with people. It often evolves over time.
Soooo … enjoy this exercise, and share your draft in the comments.
Craft a Compelling Core Message
This is a shortened version of an exercise in my book, The Coaching Website Guide — design and content strategy for attracting clients from your website.
STEP 1. Choose the kind of client you want to help
Think about the people you’ve already helped, or the kind of person you naturally understand and care about. Look for someone with a real problem, a real desire for change, and enough income or motivation to invest in help.
STEP 2. Put a simple label on them
Come up with a clear 2 to 4 word phrase for that type of person.
Examples: burnt-out executives, overwhelmed moms, new managers, career changers. This helps you talk about them clearly on your website.
STEP 3. Identify their biggest pains
What are the main things weighing on them? What frustrates them, keeps them stuck, or makes them worry? Try to narrow it down to their top 2 or 3 pains, not a giant list.
STEP 4. Identify what they really want
What would they love instead? What would make life feel better, easier, healthier, calmer, stronger, or more successful? Again, narrow it to the top 2 or 3 outcomes they care about most.
STEP 5. Name your coaching in plain language
What would you naturally call what you do in conversation? Examples: leadership coaching, business coaching, health coaching, career coaching. Keep it simple and easy to understand.
STEP 6. Choose a title for yourself
Pick a title that feels natural and credible for your audience. Examples: coach, strategist, consultant, specialist, advisor. Don’t overcomplicate it.
STEP 7. Write your core message
Now pull it all together in one message using this formula.
[Your name], [your title], helps [label for type of client] who struggle with [main pains] through [type of coaching] so they can [desired results].
For example:
Mike Masters is a financial success strategist for married couples buried in debt. His money coaching programs help families save more money, eliminate debt, and build wealth for a safe, secure future.
Post your draft in the comments!
I am watching, and I WILL respond.
No kidding. I’ll get an email alert when you comment.
Helping coaches get clients with their websites has everything to do with their messaging. It’s such a big deal and often a difficult thing to do.
I’d love to see where you’re at. Just post below.
But here’s even more help to tighten it up. …
Five ways to tighten up your core message and make it sing
Here are my favorite ways to make your core message sparkle.
Polishing Tip #1. Read it aloud.
For most, their core message ends up a bit wordy. You can easily see this if you try to read your core message aloud.
So, try verbalizing it yourself, ask a friend to read it back to you, or even use Google Translate to play it aloud.
Then, edit it so that it rolls off the tongue smoothly.
Polishing Tip #2. Get feedback on it from others.
Share it with friends, colleagues, and, ideally, people who would make ideal clients.
This act of “getting out of your head” does a lot.
Polishing Tip #3. Remove jargon, acronyms, and clumsy phrases.
I’ve found that many coaches love their concept talk like “inspirnation” to mean inspired nation or “lovergy” for love energy.
It might sound cool to you, but will your target client get it?
Polishing Tip #4. Use juicy, sexy, and succulent words.
Which of these two is more exciting?:
- a sports car
- a brand new, candy-apple red Corvette convertible
Take the time to find expressive words to give your core message an emotional impact.
I love using OneLook or ChatGPT to find super words like these…
Polishing Tip #5. Come back later (my favorite)
I agree with this -> great writing is the art of re-writing.
Putting your work down for a day and then returning to it is fantastic for improving it.
I do this not only for core messages but for all kinds of website content like blogs, pages, and emails.
As a result, website conversions like book sales, subscriber opt-ins, and leads go up.
We cut Emily’s core message in half while doubling its OOOMPH!
Most drafts end up wordy, as did Emily’s. She’s a student from a group course I offered a wee-while back.
I aim to cut my first effort in half.
Below, Emily’s goes from 76 to 39. Here’s the draft …
I help people living with diabetes who are frustrated and ashamed of their inconsistent lifestyle choices to reclaim control, health, and self-respect. My passionate curiosity will help you create a powerful vision, a culmination of your now deep-rooted healthy lifestyle habits. In partnership, we will develop a personal lifestyle management strategy that empowers you to master new habits and focus your energy to achieve and sustain lifestyle improvements you are proud of, for longer, stronger living.
There are some great words and concepts in there, but tidying it up, we did better. Here it is nearly in half …
I work with people who are frustrated and overwhelmed with problems from diabetes. I help them create lasting strategies to regain control and increase energy so they can get back to enjoying their lives with the people they love.
Better, right?
Watch Denis’s Website Come to Life by Adding a Concise Core Message
Below is a website that I reviewed and tweaked for Denis Niedringhaus, a career coach for ex-pats. Here’s the homepage with a big photo, large logo, and lis of services.
Here’s my reworking with a big core message created from existing content. Can you see how fast it comes to life?
Rachel’s Core Message – Prominent, Simple, and Powerful
Below is the top of Rachel’s website, fully equipped with a powerful core message that I captured from my interview with her.
Get more writing formulas, content templates, and lead-generating strategies in my strategy PDF, The Coaching Website Guide.
Homework! Draft your core message and post it below.
My clients love my assignments. If you want personal feedback from me, take a moment and devise yours below. I’m waiting …
This really resonated, Kenn. I see a lot of coaches struggle with this — not because they don’t have depth, but because they’re too close to their own work to simplify it. The idea of refining, getting feedback, and coming back to it over time feels especially important, as the message tends to evolve alongside the coach.
I’m curious — when a coach has multiple areas they could focus on, how do you help them choose one clear core message without feeling like they’re leaving parts of their work behind?
“Without leaving parts of their work behind”
With a closer look — a reality check — on time, resources, energy and goals helps to pick and choose the battles.
Knowing you can “try other niches” helps to focus on one “for now” also helps.
Also, aiming to make some serious progress in short order also helps to reduce distraction, wondering, and creeping in worries ;D
That might sound vague, but it’s similar to coaching a client who struggles with focus, too many options, to many ideas, and no aim.
Further thoughts, Gaye? I’m curious from your experience with high achievers.
I’m going to go a little rogue.
I probably need to shift to the format below, but my jam is finding guys who want to live the OPPOSITE of a life of quiet desperation.
Vision: I imagine a world where leaders operate with agency, courage, and freedom – mastering the space between opposites to pursue their dreams and feel fulfilled more often than not.
The ‘pain’ is more of an unthought known – when the shift from Achievement to Fulfillment is deep in their bones. It’s more felt than articulated.
[Your name], [your title], helps [label for type of client] who struggle with [main pains] through [type of coaching] so they can [desired results].
I often find words aren’t enough to describe that special place.
I like to come up with the core specialty the business owner wants to be known for and the core transformation she helps her clients get. This is a bit more powerful than the type of coaching they do.
I like that => “core specialty the business owner wants to be known for”
If you have more than one target audience, do you go more general in messaging? Or do you have multiple pages to address the different audiences?
Great question Dianna.
SHORT ANSWER …
Make a page for each target client.
I’d get more specific than “audience.”
Like an executive coach offering a 1-1 leadership coaching service, but who also has a lunch-and-learn team-building program for say the teams of managers.
LONGER ANSWER …
For many coaches with multiple audiences, I’d respond with, “It depends.” And then I’d ask a lot of questions.
There are trade-offs.
A closer look at what the coach is doing, what opportunities are floating around, and what the goal is — often just money in the door is a big deal. “The money move” is often something more simple, basic, and doable in the coming weeks to gain traction.
For example …
Consider a health coach has two types of clients (1) busy, overweight tired moms and (2) aging seniors worried about energy, fragility, disease.
She’s a part of many mom groups, with young kids, and moms need energy to take care of everyone.
I’d look at the moms right now, the ones struggling the most, most easily reachable, and think about an offer that’ll serve them well.
I wrote an article a while back about 2 niches. I wonder what I suggested 10 years ago?!
Here it is …
https://coachingsitesthatwork.com/what-to-do-on-your-website-if-you-have-two-or-more-niches/
Makes sense & I appreciate that there are nuances.
Great tips. Thinking back to when I was starting out, one of the hardest things was defining exactly who I was going to work with – many new coaches struggle to define their niche and worry that making it too specific will prevent them from getting clients. How do you help new coaches with this problem so that they not only get a cracking website but a clear niche in the first place?
One of my favorite tricks (if they’ve had clients before), is to list out the best past 10 clients and look at WHY they were great. A focus usually bubbles up.
If they are very new, then we look into their past roles, various industries, people they are drawn to, challenges they can help or have overcome. Usually something stands out.
A BIG THING about doing this is to not make to BIG A DEAL out of it, and just find a smart move, and then MOVE on it. Often you can get some clients in a few weeks, and get the ball rolling while you build up bigger.
I def like choosing an INDUSTRY (or a vertical) as part of it since that helps us know WHERE to go.
Here’s one story I wrote-up about doing this:
https://coachingsitesthatwork.com/coaching-website-success-story/
Thanks for asking @Will Brooks.
Create the success that serves you, for the rest of your life
Hi, I’m Shamanth N Murthy. I’m a mental strength coach for men, who want to nail their life goals with precision & speed by leveraging the strength in their mental faculties with a scientific approach.
Hi Shamanth. Nice job writing it up!
Want my thoughts? If so …
I’d need to know more about the exact person you’re aiming to work with, but …
I like this part => “I’m a mental strength coach for men who want to nail their life goals.”
Above, when you talk about the stuff after that, I think it go back to the logical stuff, and feels limited.
Good to have you here.
Thank you Kenn,
First of all, I love the simplicity & effectiveness of your work. Thank you for doing what you do!
My target audience are : Men in the age group of mid 20’s to mid 30’s who are working on their life goals.
How about this?
I’m a mental strength coach for men, who want to nail their life goals while experiencing freedom & balance on the way.
If you are frustrated and overwhelmed by your problems, then we need to chat.
Hi! I’m Saumya, coach & mentor. I can help you develop new skills, live well and work successfully.
I like the simplicity. If you think about the best kind of client for you, will this relate to them? I know people do often say they are overwhelmed by problems — theirs and others 😉
Hi Kenn,
I am struggling with creating my headline and subheadline for my health coaching website. I target women who struggle with weight loss due to gut health issues including auto-immune diseases.
Here’s what I came up with until now (and there will be a more detailed description afterwards) – but still not happy with the headline…
Let’s cut yo-yo dieting off your list of hobbies
Want to stop jumping from one diet to another and restore your gut while shedding the weight you want and improving your immune system?
Let’s do both at the same time as… the way you look and feel starts in your gut… in your healthy gut.
I like that you’ve got some pain points in there – yo-yo dieting, can’t lose weight, and problem with one’s immune system.
I’d look closer at what the struggle is that you’re having. What is happening there?
Regan du Closel says:
May 12, 2021 at 11:25 am
Hi Kenn, how does this work? “I work with creative women negotiating mid-life changes in their personal and professional life. I help them find the clarity and confidence to create a life project that fulfills them.”
Thanks for your sharp ear and generous feedback!
Overall, nice! Clean, easy to understand.
“negotiating” … what are these women facing/doing and more so “struggling” with?
That word feels heavy, something I don’t think people will say — but you might know differently.
“life projects” that could be great because it’s simple to understand, probably appeals to creatives. Love that bit.
Just my reactions … and well … you’re in a space where a lot of people do struggle, mid-life changes, especially in modern word that can feel chaotic.
I should pull you and another client I know who are in this space.
Great to hear from you Regan … are you getting traffic? Visible? 😀
“I work with creative mid-life women disillusioned with their career. I help them find the clarity and confidence to create a life project that fulfills them.”
“I work with creative mid-life women disillusioned with their career. I help them design a reliable system for creating a life project that fulfills them.”
Hi Kenn, I’m still not getting quite the traction I’d like. How do these read for you? Thanks for your help!
How’s traffic? Maybe it’s more around the places you’re “getting visible”
Are you hoping people will find you via search? If so, might want to look at your search strategy and implementation plan.
I do like this => “I’m Regan du Closel. I help passionate professionals who are reassessing their lives to find the courage and confidence to step off the treadmill, identify what they really want, and make it happen.”
Great to see you plugging away Regan. I love the vibe at your site — colors and your photos.
Hi Kenn,
Thanks for getting back to me with savvy feedback. I’m intrigued by your comment on search strategy and implementation plan. I’m just doing LI and word of mouth for the moment, but would be interested in hearing more from you.
Best,
LinkedIn and word of mouth. Ok, that could work.
The reason I ask, is because if you’re worried about your message, yet no one is seeing the message … well, the problem could be the message not hitting home or the target clients not seeing the message.
Sooo … here is where I get curious about the numbers. What numbers are we working with, and the goal, and what activities (marketing tasks) are you doing.
Like weight-loss or shooting better basketball, there will be numbers to show if things are working.
Interesting to see that I was already using “Treadmill” when we exchanged a couple of years ago. Wondering what you meant when you said you should pull me and another client in the same space. Traction still slow. It might indeed be the channel that I am using or how Im using them
I was just reading this evening my notes on your book explaining how to connect articles one wrote with discussions one’s in.
I’m Regan. I’m a transition coach..I help creative midlife professionals at a tipping point in their lives and careers step off the treadmill and and design a next step that truly fits the person they are today
Hey Regan … good to hear from you again.
When they “design a life and career that fits like a glove” then what happens to them? Can we go bigger, higher, and tell me about how they will feel, how life is better, and more.
Can we make the COST of coaching bring 10X value to the client?
Since you’re getting “some traction,” I bet a close look will reveal the 20% that brings the 80% of results — and you can push on those areas to fill your practice more, earn more.
Maybe we’re due for a Zoom coffee soon 😉
Which city are you in now?
Hi Ken,
Here’s my core message:
I work with women who are living their diagnosis, not living. I help them reconnect to what’s important in their lives so they can find inner peace.
I am a grief coach with experience dealing with cancer patients but could be any diagnosis.
Thank you for any feedback.
Sincerely,
Shawna Starr
Cool … way to get the first draft down, and post it! Brave.
Can you be more specific with “what’s important”? Name 3 top things … one will be their family, and often last is themselves if they are like most moms 😉
Ok to cancer … maybe just say “cancer and serious illnesses” …
Specificity sells … wanna give it a second go?
Just post below.
Anyone else secretly looking on, step into the light and share your ideas too 😉
Hi Kenn,
I loved your wonderful tips of creating core messages. Thank you for taking the effort to go through my draft.
I am an Empowerment Coach. I empower girls and women who, amidst all societal & family pressures, are looking to create a space of their own. I work together with them to regain their confidence, balance their priorities & indulge in self-compassion, so that they can have power & control over their own life.
Nice! Want some thoughts? Here …
I like the family and society pressures, are there 2-3 specific ones that are the most prominent? Try substituting those in.
And if they had control and power, what might they want to lead their lives towards? Specifically?
Confidence, priorities, and self-compassion … definitely things I hear women want to have more/control of.
Good on you for working on this … run it by some folks, esp the people you have or intend to coach.
Hey, Thanks for the input. As per your suggestions, I will try to get specific with the pressures and towards the end.
Welcome! Discover the peace that comes with a knowledge of your life’s purpose and have the confidence to take your life to the next level.
Cool … you’re speaking about benefits, Adrienne.
Try spelling out what “next level” would mean … perhaps 3 things that your best kinds of clients would love to see in their lives – relationships? work? health?
Being specific helps people get excited — and that’s your job as a coach!
Hi Kenn! What a great video. I plan to share it with my colleagues who are struggling to craft their core message. I did all the steps and have landed on this: I work with women struggling with unwanted weight gain and low energy to wake every day feeling sexy and energized. I already have a website with domain name: mindbodymom, but am thinking I should change it to EnergizedandSexy.com (or something like that) Would love your feedback!
Nice core message, clear, obvious pains and desires.
Either domain name might work – run it by 10 of those moms and see.
What about energizedmom.com or some mix?
Btw, if you’re gonna DIY, hop into the WordPress 101 for Coaches group.
Hi Kenn,
So glad I found your website. I am creating the content for my website and feel empowered with the great tips you provide. I’ve been birthing my core message for a long while and would appreciate your thoughts.
I coach women who want to break free from what holds them back. I empower them to awaken the boldness within so they can become who they’re meant to be and design a life they love.
Thanks!
Great! First sentence feels a wee bit less bold than the second one.
I like that it’s about the clients and not some much about coaching.
Way to take action!
Thanks for your feedback. I agree! I would actually do away with the first sentence.
“Mandy is a StRide By StRide guide for aspiring equestrians challenged with their journey. She designs life-creation coaching experiences for us to achieve connection with our brightest potential.”
Cool! I like the descriptions: aspiring questions and brightest potential.
Can you be more specific about the challenges on the journey? Like pressure to perform, optimizing training, riding confidence or such – I’m totally guessing here, but what specifically are these challenges?
Good job giving it a go Mandy!
Thank you! I really like “optimizing training”. I may have to let this sink in. To me it is developing (self-)awareness, however I feel they may not know this until they are into the sessions.
“Mandy Biles is a StRide By StRide equestrians guide challenging us to own our journey. She designs life-creation coaching experiences inspiring us to connect with our brightest potential.”
MandyBiles.com
Good stuff Mandy.
When I create websites or redesign them one of the first things we do is narrow in on this message.
We look at your clients, their desires, the archetype that they are drawn to, and the words and feelings that’ll appeal to them. That usually makes websites giddy up. 😉
We pull all of that into a nice concise message – the core message.
I will help your business increase
profits while lessening your stress
using proven methods that will
insure lasting success.
successcoachcarroll,com
I like it. Lots of benefit copy.
Maybe a tad bit wordy – try it with some clients/ target clients to see how they react.
Great domain name too.
I don’t know if you are still able to take time to review core messages, I’ve been playing around with mine and here is where I am at
“I coach professional women in their 40’s who are overwhelmed juggling career, family and life and help them make positive changes to reconnect, achieve balance and live harmoniously”
Hey Claire.
Overall, I like that you’re specific to who and focusing on their benefits.
I’d make it two sentences, “… and life. I help them …”
But let me ask, what do we mean by reconnect, achieve balance, and live harmoniously?
What would that translate to in their lives? Productive at work, taking care of loved ones fully, and feel a peaceful sense of control?” Maybe better words.
I like “juggling” … “juggling but struggling” might be a fun alliteration.
Hi Kenn, thank you for offering to review our drafts. Here comes mine based on the video.:
Tania Lösche is a success strategist for high achievers who struggle with anxiety and unproductive behaviors.
She offers transformative coaching for you to gained strength, self-confidence and authenticity.
She does it in a way that’s simple to implement so you start feeling in control from day one.
Hi, I’m Kate Ensor and I’m a coach who helps people realise the best version of themselves. I work with people facing life’s big transitions – like moving into a leadership role, changing career, living as an expat or becoming a parent. Different changes, that require you to answer similar questions: Who am I? What matters to me? What is my unique contribution? If you want to answer these questions and find more joy and fulfilment in your life, give me a call to book your first session.
Interesting.
If you work your immediate network of people who know, like and trust you, you should be able to get conversations and then secure new clients. Most coaches get clients that way at the start.
If you want to take over the world, and get clients coming to you in droves, being specific, say expat execs in career change or new role (combining some things there), and then get the word out in targeted areas where those folks place their attention – I can see that easier for income, clients, marketing.
I like how you start pointing out specific areas – it helps me know what you’re about. The “best version of themselves” while nice and probably what we all want … I wonder how many lay awake at night thinking, “I need to fix the problem of not being my best version” so I’d probably not lead with that too much. Nice to have in drips and drabs.
But I know people lay awake at night about their careers issues, relationships woes, and problems with kids. Gray hairs. Nervous breakdowns. Anger fits. You name it.
Just some reactions as I read your core message.
Hi Kenn,
I just had a quick question regarding core messages. I’m wondering if you can recommend where I should have the core message located on my website. Since I also want to have a captivating headline on my homepage, I am just wondering where might be the best place to insert my core message so its not too close to my headline that pops up on my homepage.
Do you ever have people insert their core message as the headline that users see when they first land on the page? OR should the headline and core message be two separate entities. Thanks so much for any input or tips you can provide,
Andrew Smith
Kickstart Running
Good question.
I’d think about the experience you want people to have.
If your headline is a part of a story that you want people to get pulled into, and then read an article, then I’d save the core message for the About Me page, for online profiles.
If your homepage is meant to have a quick summary at the top (I often do this), then the core message could go right there and then you lead them deeper -> like join email list, or read a blog post, or other.
Yes, think about the path you want people to take. The adventure you want them to go on. Just make sure that the journey is all about their situation and challenges.
Feel free to post it back here when the site goes up.
Claudette B, your Dreambuilder Coach.
I work with Go-Getters – male and female who lost sight of their dreams to life’s circumstances. I help them to master the tide of life by discoverig and reconstructing their dreams, and transforming them into reality so that they can luve the life they absolutely love living.
Great that you posted it here Claudette!
I like the length of it and “go getters” word to describe your clients. Nice!
Wondering if “tide of life” is something they’ll quickly get or wonder about. I’d probably go for more specific challenges like “work, relationship and health challenges” … or probably better, pick among those that relate most closely to them.
I suppose go-getters who have been drowned by life’s tidal waves want to be on top, surfing productively to their big dreams again.
Would that be in work/business/career/endeavors? I sense so …
Thanks for the awesome, brilliant idea Ken. Beautifully crafted. After listening to your video on “ Creating a Compelling Core Msg, I finally decided to tie the ‘tide of life’ piece. I really like the way you reframe my core msg and making it highlight my domain name. I will definitely work with it. Blessings
Here’s my pitch, it went from about 3 paragraphs to this. It’s going on the header of my Home page so I need it to be super simple, clear and short.
“If your a super busy coach who’s confused about how to create a Website that’s not only beautiful but also Connects and Converts, hit the booking button below and let’s find out if together, we can make magic happen”
My client’s are heart-centred, soulful entrepreneurs just starting out and are normally in the woowoo industry 🙂
Hi, I’m Gwendolyn Needham. I inspire and motivate teachers and parents via Human Development Workshops to “Take Charge of Your Lives!” and become strong, healthy, happy, wise, – not stressed, overwhelmed and overworked, and far too busy.
Why teachers and parents? Because they hold the keys to empowering our next generation in their hands; they’re the most important people in the world!
I like the content. I like the focus. Nice.
To make a short 1-2 sentencer you can use everywhere (bios, online profiles, author boxes), tighten it up to hit on the key end/big benefits, which appear to about parents and teachers beoming wise leaders and kids becoming _______? ((probably responsible and productive).
Nice first go at it … run it by some of these teachers and parents.
Hi Kenn, thank you for your extremely helpful posts.
I’m Janice, a Personal Fulfillment Coach for burnt out Professionals.
I will help you go from stressed and stuck to gaining clarity and direction for a life that inspires and delights you.
Hi Janice.
Very welcome. LOVE how you end i with “inspires and delights” you. Nice.
Wondering if “satisfies your soul” or something deeply rewarding, meaningful would play in here, being a “fulfillment coach”.
Hi Kenn, Thank you for your suggestions – I like these ideas very much and will play around with it and then ask a few people. Much appreciated. 🙂
I’m a trasitional & career coach. I help People who are unhappy with their life & career find fulfillment and purpose.
If you are stuck and confused about your life & career journey, then you are in the right place.
I help people move from where they are in Life to where they want to be. I can help you find your most authentic self so you can live a successful, impactful and fulfilled life.
Emem Nwogwugwu
I like it – simple and direct. Good words in there. Curious, of all your past clients, who was the best and what was their big challenge?
I have worked with people with different challenges.
Most of my clients are in New careers journeys, new lifestyle to healing and even helping others.
Though I started only last year. My best client was a woman who was in a bad marriage and personal life. Today she is doing better. Left the country to start a new life. Also working on her career now. She is also a new coach. She has been able to identify her core niche.
I have literally seen client identify their real purpose during our sessions. And seen many healed emotionally after talking to me.
As a Project Manager- I have helped loads of client make important business decisions on the spot. I am a creative thinker. I provide life and business solutions. One of my most sort after niche is in project planning. People need solutions that are viable, cost effective, within budget and quality. I provide solutions that meets the criteria of the business and overall project team.
Hi Regan,
I like where you are going. I find the second sentence a bit confusing though. I’d take out the ‘your own’ and use a comma after partner, career, etc. Leave out the ‘and’ there.
“I help creative women negotiate mid-life changes in the personal and professional life. Together we can find those answers within you to changes of partner, career, aging parents,, and empty nesting. Together you will learn how to regain clarity and confidence. You will be able to fully/comfortably discover and inhabit the person you are today.”
I think most readers read in shorter sentences – especially on mobile phones so breaking it up will bring more clarity to the reader and that’s what you are aiming for.
You’ve done a wonderful job of defining your work and the benefits. My suggestions are simply on contextual changes to make it easier for the reader.
Love, Hugs, and Prayers,
NanaPennypockets
Hello Kenn, I love the practicality and simplicity of your blogs!
Regan du Closel – Transition coach
Clarity Coach Solutions
I help creative women negotiate mid-life changes in their personal and professsional life. Together, we can find your own answers to changes of partner and career, aging parents and empty nesting and help you regain clarity and confidence and fully/comfortably inhabit the person you are today.
Nice work Regan!
I like it. If you can run it by some folks, that’ll be a good move. Run it by some people in your market as well.
Hi Kenn, how does this work? “I work with creative women negotiating mid-life changes in their personal and professional life. I help them find the clarity and confidence to create a life project that fulfills them.”
Yeah! You’ve finally retired! But – Now what are you going to do?
What legacy can you create?
Let me help you explore the footprints you can make in retirement
That will be lasting.
Sandra Cerul, Opportunity Coaching
Love this, Nana! really crisp and punchy! We really know what you’re about and for whom. I wish you all well-deserved success.
Hi Patti. I like the fun energy in it. Great! If you’re staying quite broad in your client base, give that message a go and see how people respond. That “direction” challenge is definitely an issue for many. Direction and Passions … I bet you can say a lot about that in your materials/articles/talks or other content.
Sweet!
Nice Jane!
I think you can cut that in half to tighten it. I like the “life and work” part. If you can juicify that like “thrive at work, and take care of your family” (which would be aimed more at working moms), I think it will have more oomph!
Try running it by a few of your idea (or could be ideal) clients.
Here is a draft of my core message:
Are you ready to make a life change but lack direction? Do you struggle with connecting to the things you are passionate about? Hi. I’m Patti Wheeler, Life Purpose Coach. I am excited to help you unlock the doors to your fullest potential. Together we will find that path that will lead you to the successful and fulfilling life you want.
I’m a health coach and I’m passionate about working with motivated clients to develop healthy habits around weight control, energy exercise and, stress . If you are struggling with any of these I will help you change and maintain healthy habits so you get the most from your life and work.